21 Aug Michael’s problems
The onset of my son’s emotional problems changed the trajectory of my life. Despite receiving professional help, uncooperative behavior continued at home and at school. Hearing negative feedback from teachers and other mothers caused feelings of helplessness and shame. Acutely aware of the fragility of life, I lived in constant fear of great trouble around the corner. Though, at first, my emotions bordered on hysteria, they soon vanished into an anonymous, glacier-like realm. Constant worry, like an ache from an amputated limb, left me in a state of blind resignation. When the swell in my heart and the lump in my throat disappeared, I went through the motions of life, a ghostly figure skulking.
My poignant, bittersweet love for Michael forced me through a tunnel to the outer edges of reality. With eyes shut tight and breath suspended, I emerged from the chaos unscathed, trying to discern just how I managed to survive. As it happened, God ruled over the lesser light of night.